How to find the right mentor without even trying 

In this episode, you’ll discover what it takes the find the mentor that fits your values so that you can grow exponentially in your professional and personal life.

And by the end of this episode, you’ll realize that you don’t have to try hard to get the right mentor when you know these secret hacks that I’ll be sharing with you. 

Why you should get a mentor?

First things first, we have to understand why we should get one. 

We all hear this expression that “you are the sum of the people that you meet every single day”. That if you want to grow, you’ve got to surround yourself with the right people. 

And this speaks about who you associate yourself with. 

When you get the right mentor, you can get the right association and influence.

You’ll be handed the right tools, strategies, and ways on how you can get from point A to point B. That’s what mentor does – to teach you, to guide you to the way that you want to go.

And because a mentor has been ahead of you, they already experienced both failure and successes which can provide you with valuable lessons in your journey.

Why is that important? Well, if you know the mistakes they’ve made, you can avoid them which saves you decades of trying to do it through trial and error.

And because they become successful in their own ways, you know that what they will teach you have proven to be effective in their personal or professional lives.

Before finding a mentor, what is your reason of finding one? What is your intention? Because that will be your main reason along the way.

When people ask me in events, and seminars (now in webinars) as to how to find the right mentor, I always say you don’t have to.

And the reason is that trying to find the right mentor is not the best possible way to finding the right one.

Simply because the right mentor for you should be established naturally along the way. It is not forced, you don’t have to force to find the right one. But by knowing these exact principles that I’ll share, you get to find the right mentor without you even trying it. You can even attract them if you know these principles.

Principle #1: You attract who you are

This principle is applicable either in 1 on 1 or group mentoring. 

You don’t start with finding great mentors, it starts with you. 

And even if you have money to pay for 1 on 1 mentorship, you’ll end up paying more if you don’t invest in yourself first. 

The best way is to start investing yourself. In attending seminars, networking opportunities, book launches of top speakers, reading books — you do mentorship first yourself. 

Because once you instill the mindset of personal development, it would be easier for you to find the right mentor because now you have sets of preferences to consider.

Principle #2: Good mentorship starts naturally

Without even trying, you’ll soon find mentors. 

Do not take for granted your circle of friends. 

I personally have friends in my circle that I consider as my mentors, One in the area of servant leadership, another is on personal finance, another friend on relationships.

With that, I don’t have to pay much money with mastermind or private groups (which is another good way to get high-level learnings), but if you’re just starting out, you surround yourself with friends who can also be your mentors.

What about your colleagues in the office? Your boss in your previous company can also be your mentor. Invite them in a dinner or lunch, and ask professional advice. 

The best mentorship I know starts with having authentic relationships with people I trust. 

Principle #3: Mentorship is anchored in the right values

It’s easy to find a mentor, but finding a good one, even better or best, isn’t that easy.

Because the better or the best should have values similar to yours. You jive in because you have the same foundation.

Of course, in the professional setting, he or she may not something you don’t know yet, which is good.

But having preferences is secondary to values. Once you know your values, you can easily match it to someone who is similar to yours.

Principle #4: Have a list of preferences and needs

I’ll share with you one truth about mentorship.

The truth is: you can’t find one single mentor who can teach you everything.

When it comes to mentorship, a person is only as good in 1 or 2 areas, at most. While some seem good at everything, they can only share what they only experience. But in general, you get learnings at best in 1 or 2 areas.

So now, start by having a list of your preferences and needs.

Here are some guiding questions to help you with this:

  1. What do you need at the moment?
  2. What general or specific advice are you looking for? Money management, relationships, leadership?
  3. How many resources you can allot to mentorship? Time, money, and even added value to the person you’re getting mentorship from.

Once you answer these questions, you’ll have at least a clear picture of your preferences and needs. Then you’ll ready for the next important piece of the puzzle.

Principle #5: Reach out 

It’s just that. You reach out.

I know some of you have this personality of being shy, introverted, not really into talking to people. 

But the thing is if you want to get mentors, it takes only a little step. One small step of reaching out.

I’ve had opportunities to meet great people here in the Philippines by simply asking them for a coffee chat. 15-minute, 30-minute, some meetings take 1 hour or more. 

But regardless of how much they’re willing to invest, I was able to do the first small step — which is to reach out to them.

Who are the people you’re looking up to in your industry?

Do you have in your networks you’d want to get in touch with for natural mentorship?

The truth is, not all of them will say yes to your invitation. Some will say no for many reasons – busy schedules, and all that.

But you have to start somewhere. And that includes reaching out to them.

So why not start today.

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Let’s learn from one another. It’s time to grow personally and professionally. See you in our next episode.